5 P's to Survive in SIMC!!

Inspired by Philip Kotler's theory of 4 P's- Product, Price, People and Promotion, I thought of making my own theory of 5 P's to survive in SIMC. To survive in this temple of knowledge, which promotes itself as 'Symbiosis Knowledge Village', you need to have the following "P's" in place. Read on..

1) Paisa: The song "Kyun paisa paisa karti hain, Kyun paise pe tu marti hain" or "Paisa, Kaisa Kaisa Paisa, saari khushi paisa" can be ideal theme sings for the SIMC-ians. To survive here, you need paisa. Be it your frequent travels to the city to grab a beer, have something that SIMC-ians term as "Good Food", go to and fro from KP to SB Road (read: auto fares), buy birthday cake for your room mate, buy gifts on Valentine's Day, send your backlog papers for revaluation (or cannot send, on 2nd thoughts..), beauty parlour visits- you need the 1st P- Paisa! Oh, and how can I forget our very own Shopping Complex- "jaha sab kuch milta hai". It is the most alluring place ever. You go inside it and you cannot come out without spending at least 50 Rupees. Maggi, Biscuits, Cornflakes, Toothpaste, Coffee, Exercise Books, Deodorant, Chocolates- your bag would be full and wallet nil. Then there is 'Chaat Shop' and 'Coffee Shop'. They mint money at lightening speed. Even if Brad Pitt would have posed naked for two minutes, women wouldn't have spent that much money as they do in these shops (If you think it's a bad example, I don't care, really). You get inside the mess, inhale the wonderful aroma of delicacies served, take a U-Turn and order soup and chicken from the 'Chaat Shop'. Then you feel like drinking something and you buy hot chocolate from the 'Coffee Shop'. Your stomach gets full and wallet gets nil. You will see people with big grin on their faces when they come out of the ATM outside the mess. 

'Dad sent money', they would say and then you will see these people going down to 'Shree' or 'Silver Spoon' to have butter chicken and come back sloshed very often. However, after a few days you will notice the same people making a grumpy face and having black dal and some vegetable curry made out of a magic recipe at the mess. 

'Am broke dude', they would groan. 

You want to survive in SIMC? Pester your Dad and keep your wallet jingling.

2) Politics: The 2nd P is many a SIMC-ians favourite word. Just like Aamir Khan's character had said in 'Dil Chahta Hai' - "Zindagi mein jo pehla shabd maine bola tha, woh na Mama tha na Papa, woh tha Ca-mera!", I have this feeling that when my batchmates (err, I mean SIMC-ians) were born, the first word that came out of their mouth was- POLITICS! *Ta-Da!* Your classmate has given the same internship preference as you, play politics and stab her behind the back. Your classmate gets selected for some news portal by some faculty, instead of getting happy for the poor soul, you hiss, spread rumours, go green (not in a good way) and do everything possible to get inside, what they call, the "core team". One odd mail comes to the batch offering something that is termed as a 'Project', and there will be a long que of people trying to grab the oppurtunity. They will do anything to get it, for which the 2nd "P" would come real handy. To survive in SIMC you have to have this "P" at the right place. For people who can't, would be left with none but a group of seniors to cry to.

3) Projects: Be it seven or be it four. The "P" that you just cannot ignore in SIMC, is the 3rd P- Projects! "Maane..maane..Project approved" might have gone down (literally), but the legacy of completing projects, to get your much awaited degree, continues. According to the new 90% compulsory "physical" attendance rule, you get attendance if you go out for your projects. That is the reason why people are packing their bags and zooming away to their hometowns by saying "Going for a project dude!" even before you can bat your eyelids and say "P". As far as the seniors are concerned, they are making films at a lightening speed. People are editing one film, doing camera for the other and writing script for his own- all at the same time!

"Mera abhi bhi do baaki hai, tera?"

"I am doing X's Camera and Y's editing, and I think I will start making my film too", is what you will overhear them saying.

Equipments are hardly available at Rajesh Sir's office.

"Senior log projects kar rahe hain na", he will smile sheepishly.

You love it or hate it. You just cannot ignore this "P"!

4) Power: The 4th yet very important P- the Power game in SIMC! If you have got the power, you are here to survive, and am not talking about six-packs here. Be it the clerks, the students or anyone random, nobody thinks twice before flaunting their power. If you have the so-called "Power", people are ready to butter you and lick your feet. 

5) PR: Oh, forget Advertisement. Forget Journalism. Forget AV. PR rules the roost in SIMC (outside the classrooms). If you see people hugging each other and giving each other Oscar-winning flying kisses every second and behave as long-lost sisters, don't be too surprised. That is PR. If you have to survive here, you have to have good PR skills which means:

• you have to 'like' and comment in almost everyone's picture/posts/status messages in a certain social networking site in order to grab attention.
• Come to the mess in spaghettis and sit in almost every table at least once and chit chat with different groups.
• Multicast asking for "HIMYM" (or whatever it is called), every 2 seconds.
• Reply to chain mails which are 'controversial', and ensure to hit the "Reply All" button.
•  Use the word "Dude" atleast five times in a sentence because it's 'Cool'.

These are essentially the 5-P's you need to survive here. All characters in the post are imaginary. Any resemblance to people living or dead are purely (co) incidental. Amen!